Title: Save the Flirting for After Detention
Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Hopes
Characters/Pairings: Yuri Leclerc/Ashe Ubert (pre-slash), Constance von Nuvelle, Hap, OMC. Fenja is mentioned.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: F-bombs, 1990s U.S. High Schools could get mean.
Notes: 1990s High School AU.
Word Count: 2,530
Summary: In which Yuri (and a Santa Claus) tutor a ghost in Math.

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It was a Tuesday, so the Wolves (Yuri didn’t care what Hapi said; that name was going to catch on one day) all had detention. Constance had made the mistake of correcting her science teacher when he made a mistake so basic that Yuri wondered how the little fucker had graduated high school, let alone get that doctorate he bragged about all the time when Yuri listened in on conversations in the teachers’ lounge. She’d been polite about it until the teacher told her to ‘sit down and shut up, the adult was talking’—then she let him have it. And he let her have detention.

Hapi’s reason for detention was not nearly as exciting. She had refused to do her homework (again), so Dr. Casagranda had to give her detention (again). Yuri had overheard Casagranda ask her what was going on. Hapi was brilliant; she’d be an honor student and get to go home early instead of squeaking by and staying after school every week if she just would do the homework. Hapi had shrugged and said that the homework was boring, so she wasn’t going to do it. Besides, the school was kind of nice when it was quiet. Dr. Casagranda had sighed as she regretfully followed the department’s rules and gave her student another detention.

As for Yuri, he’d gotten into a fight. It wasn’t like he’d had much choice in the matter. Some punk was trying to bully some scrawny little freshman. And this bully was the kind of sleaze that made fun of the kid’s lack of height, ratty clothes, appearance… long story short, he had easily checked off every box on the “I am scum” list. So, Yuri did what any rational person would do, and beat the shit out of him until the little fucker was crying for help. Mr. Hanneman had given him detention, but he’d also whispered to Yuri that as someone who had a sister who was the victim of such teasing growing up (and beyond that, Yuri suspected from his tone), he personally could see where Yuri was coming from. And considering what the other student had said and done, no one had the heart to suspend Yuri this time. But as a teacher, he had to punish the student that started a fight in the hallway. Yuri could respect that. At least they’d had the sense to make sure that Yuri and the little fucker didn’t have detention in the same room. And hey, he got to spend some time with Hapi and the Shady Lady. Just him and the besties.

There was a timid knock at the door. The teacher on guard duty was someone with almost twenty years of experience under his belt, and it showed. He was a sturdy older man with a full snow-white beard and a perpetual scowl—basically, a mean Santa Claus. “Honestly,” ‘Santa’ snarled. “You three stay put. I don’t want any lip!” He pointed a thick finger at them for emphasis. Yuri held up his hands in mock surrender. Constance and Hapi were so preoccupied with Hapi’s Gundam Wing yaoi fan art, they didn’t hear him. (But they gave him no lip, and that was all he asked for.)

Santa stalked outside. The door was closed, so Yuri couldn’t see what was going on. However, Santa’s voice boomed. “You what?! Ugh. Fine. Do ya know the rules, kid?”

“Yes, sir,” a miserable, raspy voice assured him.

“Good! There’s one more rule: you keep your mouth shut until I dismiss you. I don’t want any lip!”

“Yes, sir.”

Santa kicked the door open. A ghostly little kid that Yuri had seen haunting the sophomore classes lurked behind him. “Okay, cockroaches,” Santa bellowed. “This baby roach is called Ashe. He’s new here, so treat him with respect! And I don’t want any lip!” Santa plopped down in his seat, kicked his feet up on the desk, and proceeded to ‘rest his eyes’ for the rest of detention.

Which meant that Casper here was on his own with the big bad Wolves. Luckily for the kid, two of them were too busy imagining Trowa kissing Quatre to do anything. As for Yuri, he always assessed the situation before he acted.

The kid (Ashe, right?) was scrawny with unkempt hair that had gone gray way too early (Stress? Genetics? Some combination of the two?) and Ecto-Cooler green eyes. If it weren’t for the freckles, his skin would have been bone white. Then there was the way Ashe moved. He was intimidated by being in detention for what Yuri suspected was the first time, sure. But he wasn’t hunched over or trying to hide like the fresh meat usually did. He… he floated. He observed quietly. He kept his belongings close to him. He was so good at appearing non-threatening, even Yuri had bought the act until now. But upon closer observation? It was clear that Ashe was smart and quick on his feet. How the hell did someone like him get into detention?

“Excuse me.” Ashe’s voice was soft, so he would not disturb Santa’s snoozing. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” It wasn’t the first time someone had asked Yuri that. People of all genders wanted to him as arm candy and/or to do their homework for them. In those times, Yuri would play along, but only as long as it benefited him. (These types were desperate for any sort of social capital, and a cute boy would secure that, especially if all he did was smile and nod while they bragged—so some of the bougiest punks at school were why Yuri could pay for food for himself and Mom and cover some of the rent.) So, this was nothing new. Yet the idea that Ashe was like those types repulsed him for reasons he could not explain.

Instead of trying to figure that out, he bristled. “Oh, so doe eyes wants to hang out with the bad crowd?” He grinned toothily. “It’s a cliché, but I’m gonna start chanting ‘fresh meat’ if you don’t scuttle back to your corner.” He waited for Ashe, who had revealed himself to be as shitty as everyone else, to cower and/or bitch.

Instead, he rolled his eyes. “I’m re-taking a test. The light is crummy on the other side of the room, so I want to work where I can see the problems.” He smiled. “I promise not to bother any of you during your brooding.” His tone was sarcastic, but there was no bitterness—and definitely no attempts to be suave. Ashe—Ashe really was the person Yuri thought he was when he first came in the room. Sweet, smart, but with a backbone.

(He was a really good judge of character, so it was not surprising that his first hunch was correct. He prided himself on his hunches. So, why had he gotten so mopey when there was just enough evidence to wonder otherwise, instead of trusting his gut like he always had before?)

“So, is it okay?”

“Um. Yeah. Sure.”

Ashe smiled again, and he took his seat.

And now Yuri really needed to know why this guy was in detention. He clearly wasn’t the repentant goody-two shoes that had been talking to Mr. Santa, but he also wasn’t a jerk. “Sorry if this distracts you from your quadratic equations, friend, but what’s a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?”

Ashe ducked his head. “You’d be disappointed with how boring it is.”

“Okay, now I’m interested as well,” Hapi piped up, briefly distracted from drawing her fan art where her class notes should have been. “I’m in here again because I won’t do my homework.”

“Hapi, I wish that you would,” Constance sighed. “You’re brilliant, and your lackadaisical attitude is the only reason why you are not my competition for valedictorian. At the very least, permit me to do it for you.”

“Homework is bogus; I already learned the stuff in school. I ain’t a cheater. And ‘sides, you’re actually working hard to graduate top of the class. You deserve that way more than anyone else,” Hapi responded. She then returned her attention to Ashe. “Tangent aside, there is no way on Earth or in the heavens that your reason can be more boring than mine.”

“It is gauche to pry, but I must admit, I am now intrigued as well,” Constance realized. “Come, underclassman. I assure you that this conversation shall not leave this dingy cell of a classroom.”

“And now that these two war goddesses are invested, you won’t have a moment’s peace until you divulge,” Yuri added smugly. Thank God that his friends were as nosy as he was. “So, spill.”

“Ugh, fine,” Ashe groused. “If you three really want to know, I flunked my Math test.”

“Okay,” Hapi drawled. “But they can’t put you in detention for flunking. Skipping homework, on the other hand…”

Ashe’s cheeks were very faintly pink. Apparently, not even embarrassment could seriously impact his pallor. “I flunked my Math test, and then I cried from frustration about it. My teacher said that I was begging for sympathy, that she had already given me all the help she could give, and while she was obligated to give me a makeup, so I better toughen up and stop daydreaming and learn like everyone else,” he huffed. “And yeah, I know. All that is true. But it was just so…” Now he sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Hold on.” Yuri held up a hand. “Was this Ms. Fenja?”

“Yes,” Ashe said.

“Ah. She’s an incompetent ghoul who only still has her job because of the teacher shortage,” Yuri assured him. “You’re not a crummy student. She’s a crummy teacher.”

“Maybe,” Ashe admitted. “But I’ve never been good at Math. Even if she’s bad at teaching—and okay, she is—it doesn’t change that I just don’t understand this stuff.”

Okay, Ashe believed some negative things about himself. So, a pep talk would not be enough. It was time to work around this problem. “You don’t need to understand it all. Just enough to pass this class.”

“And then my senior Math class, and then the required Math courses for college—”

“Which is valid, but let’s keep the focus on making up this one test. And making Ms. Fenja eat shit.” Yuri ran a hand through his hair. If he hadn’t been so focused on the task at hand, he would have noticed Ashe was barely blushing again. “I hate to brag,” he ignored Constance and Hapi trying not to wake up Santa by laughing their assess off, “but I’m pretty good at Math. How ‘bout I take a look at your makeup test and see where you’re messing up?”

Ashe frowned. “I don’t want to cheat.”

Ugh, of course he was nice and honest. “You’re not. First off, I ain’t gonna give you the answers—I’m just going to point out where you’re making mistakes in the process. Second, if Ms. Fenja gave you the test to make up outside of the classroom and still expects you to do it 100% on your own, then she’s more obtuse than I thought.”

Ashe was still frowning, but there was a thoughtfulness to it now. “Well, as long as you don’t give me the answers.” He took out the test and a pencil with an eraser that was rubbed down to a nub. “I got a 59 on it, so there’s a lot to correct. Sorry in advance.”

A 59? No wonder Ashe had cried; he had been one point away from at least passing. Hell, Yuri would’ve teared up himself, and he was a cynical little shit. If it had been anyone except Ms. Fenja, he would have been surprised that they didn’t just round it up, but she had always been all about ‘teaching kids to work hard’ or whatever.

But he had better things to do than brood. “Okay, let’s start here,” Yuri began. “You forgot to carry this over.”

“Oh, wow,” Ashe breathed. “I was so stressed about the test; I didn’t even realize that.” Yuri noted with satisfaction that once Ashe corrected that error, he got it correct. It took him awhile and he double checked before he asked Yuri to triple check, but Yuri could not blame anyone with Fenja for a teacher for being worried about a test.

They were getting through the test quickly enough until they got to a lengthy word problem with a lot of red ink about how Ashe wasn’t applying himself. Yuri scanned Ashe’s past work to see where the mistake was, but… shit, even he was stumped. It was so bad that he asked the Shady Lady to help them out—but even she had no idea what the problem was asking them to do. The four of them (Hapi was more of a Humanities student, but even she was invested in Operation: Make Fenja Eat Shit now) found themselves breaking down the problem, bit by bit. There were so engrossed, no one noticed that Constance cackled without thinking when they figured out the second step until Santa startled awake.

“I SAID I DON’T WANT ANY—wait. You kids are actually doing what you’re supposed to be doing. Aside from Giggles.” Constance harrumphed.

Yuri shrugged. “I’m surprised as you are, sir.”

There was a silence. Then Santa said, “… Okay, I have to know. What is so difficult that it’s got Yuri, Hapi, and the future valedictorian stumped?” Constance grumbled something about how she was annoyed that Santa never seemed to remember her name, but she would forgive him just this once since he acknowledged her brilliance.

“It’s that ghoul Fenja again! She—” Ashe held up a hand. To Yuri’s shock, he shut up.

“I’m making up Ms. Fenja’s test, sir.”

Santa was very quiet, which was unnerving. “Did she send you to detention for failing a test?”

“Yes, sir,” Ashe said, the shame coming back to his voice. “Well, that and crying because I failed.”

Santa was still very, very quiet. “Next time she tries to pull that, tell me. I may not look it, but I am the head of the Math department. She’s not supposed to send kids to detention because they flunked one measly test, and she is definitely not supposed to send kids to detention because they cried. That’s not disruptive behavior; you were just upset.” The fact that Santa was clearly angry at Ms. Fenja and dismissing the importance of tests in a High School was enough to cow the students to do nothing but nod.

“Anyways, Ashe, come up here and show me that problem.” And heaven help them, he gave them a genuine, Santa Claus-grade grin. “Sometimes we Math nerds struggle with writing, so our word problems aren’t as clear to the kids as they are to us.”

“Yes, sir!” Ashe chirped. Then he turned to Yuri. “Thanks for your help, too. And sticking up for me in your own way.”

Yuri winked. “Any time, friend.”

Santa huffed. “I don’t want any lip, and save the flirting for after detention.”